STAR TREK II: the wrath of khan (1982)
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writing smut like
how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?
and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use
tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick
tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft
tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus
tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood
tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie
tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun
tier 3 (clinical,
too formal, but not cheesy):
groin, penis, phallus
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
sometimes i see a post that has inaccurate information about libraries and sometimes i contemplate correcting them but then i don’t
actually this is a specific post i’ve seen circulating on my dash for a few months. i’m not blaming anyone for reblogging it but i think a lot of people don’t know enough about what a library is
getting a card is great, don’t get me wrong. but not using it isn’t good. yes, we can run reports that say how many cards were made in a year and we report it to our board (which the mayor is part of and the mayor has a big say in our budget -- see the cuts to nyc library funding by eric adams). but it’s bad if no one is using the cards. we do track circulation (items that are checked in/out, are lost or go missing, etc.), and if no one is taking out items that looks bad for our acquisitions budget. is there a manga series you like that’s 1000 issues long and still ongoing? if our budget gets cut we might not buy new books in the series. if you don’t use the ebook services we provide (libby, overdrive, etc.) those go away. if you don’t come to programs, program budgets get cut. if you. don’t keep track of what’s going on in your library, things you do not want to happen might happen anyway. go to the library. get to know the librarians, because if something comes up they will tell you about it. they might tell you that they’re holding a board meeting because a book was challenged by another patron. go to that board meeting to object to the challenge. and if you can’t physically go, get it in writing. e-mail the director -- you can find their email on the library website or somewhere on the internet. public librarians work for the public -- our info is out there. the director will read the email at the board meeting.
being an active member of the library is so much more than getting a card. not every library is great at outreach (my library is working on it, but we’re a small town, too), so sometimes you need to go to the website or call the library and ask. we’re more than happy to help. we want people in the library. it’s how we justify our existence, especially now when the far right really hates us and thinks we’re all pedophile indoctrinating children and will do anything to defund us. bigots are loud -- you have to be louder.
we all agree that book bans are bad and libraries closing are bad. but you have the power to stop it. and yeah, budgets are sometimes cut because there’s nothing else the library can do, but showing you actually want the library and the resource it provides to be around is important. i cannot overstate how much your voice matters. it matters over the staff, honestly, and i have a literal degree in library science. so i’m using my grad school knowledge to tell you to actually use and advocate for your public library
Use your card like you are on a shopping spree with unlimited funds!
See what other items/services your library offers with your card! Databases for research, music, movies (mine has whole ass streaming service I can checkout for a short time!), tools, toys, games, learning services, mobile hotspots, you never know what awesome services and materials your library has!
Ask you library staff, they will be so happy to tell you!
Use your card like you
are on a shopping spree with
unlimited funds!
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Real quick follow-up question, Justice I Like Beer: who paid off your 200,000 dollar gambling debts?
be gay, do crime, collect rock, walk barefoot on leaves, lay in water with frog friend, nap on moss, encourage bumblebee, climb tree, get twigs stuck in hair both intentionally and unintentionally, sleep under stars, say goodnight to moon, wake up with snail friend on head
Professor Porter: What am I doing? Captain! Tell them you never found us! After all, people get lost in the jungle all the time!
It all began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven, to the Dwarf Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern over each race.
slthrn-fairie